Why I should not forget to send birthday cards

I recently missed another birthday. My nephew Jim turned 15 and I did not send a card. That is not unusual for me nowadays. When I was newly married - and for the first 10 or 12 years I remembered all the birthdays and sent cards, made the phone calls, etc. As I became busier and the family grew larger I began to forget, send belated wishes...and eventually went to nothing...which is where I am now. It is not that I do not think about the people - I do. I think of Jimmy and how he must feel to become 15...nearly an adult in his eyes, I'm sure.

Part of it might be that I still have such a hard time believing that HE IS 15...Good grief! - He was just 4 last week! That means that time has passed and everything is older...including me. How did that happen?

So - yeah. I am selfish.

You know what? I am tired of being selfish.

On my deathbed what am I going to think about?
Work? Nope.
How clean the kitchen is? No way.
How old I am? Probably not.
How much I love everyone? Yup.
How I screwed up? Yup
Regrets? Um hmm.
What I would do if I had just 1 more year?
Most definitly

So-
Perhaps living life as if you only have a year left would be a good thing to do. Sort of. I don't want to make us go broke with too much living - BUT within reason - I think that is a grand idea!

What IS important to me? People. My people especially. Loving them, showing them I love them, receiving love. Yup - I really like this idea.

What is the purpose of life? Many answers here, depending upon your philosophy, your spirit.
I recently overheard a conversation regarding this subject and it seems basically sound...even the scientists would approve. All life wants to make a copy of itself. Look at molecules, look at all living things. Always reproducing. Okay. So I made (with some help) my copies. My copies have grown into adults. Now perhaps my job turns to carrying on traditions, nurturing a community of family. Caring for my grandcopies eventually.

I used to think I wanted to do and be something grand and important in this life. And you know what? I did and I am. Small and unimportant in the world's eyes - is large in the human scheme of things. There really is not enough family love in these United States. Our families need to be nurtured. Children need to learn love - they need to learn to be decent and caring. Those things are taught. It is the basis of the whole world! Imagine if the war mongers had had loving families...how different life might be. Yes, yes --- there is more to it than just a good Mommy, but I know it would not hurt and I think it would make life better.

This blog has evolved into something much more philosophical than I thought it would be. Wow.

So now I will send Jim a belated birthday card and make my apologies...
I will also update my calendar and get back to the important things in life. People.





"Live like you'll die tomorrow and dream like you'll live forever".
James Dean

what color is your armor?

sometimes i think i should write stories out of my dreams.

last night i dreamed that everyone wore armor. Each person's armor was a different color. For instance my husband's armor was canary yellow - bright, attractive, happy, alive. my daughter's armor was orange - a combination of red and yellow...all of yellow plus a passion, a zeal, a zest. My son's armor was bright royal blue...true blue, brilliant and attractive, it reminded me a a deep lake.

my armor was a combination of all colors - an ugly no name color...a mish mosh of unidentifiable reflection of light. It was sort of brown, yet sort of purple and dark gray...mostly brown(ish).
Was I all colors because I am a little of all the colors? Or because I do not know what I am?

yellow, red, orange remind me of flowers, tropical birds, fruit; seasonal living things
blue and green remind me of the waterways and the grass and trees; seasonal, yet not as much change as the yellows, reds and oranges
white and black are good and evil - as in old stories - or maybe rather - truth vs non truth
seems most of the colors are really combo colors -
orange, purple, brown, gray, various shades of each color.

why armor?
protection, or perhaps a mask that protects you. Or maybe a type of banner...what you wish to represent, or simply reflecting who you really are on the inside.

this blog is a mish mosh of my thought. no art here. just a way for me to express thoughts. if anyone reads it - hope you have a wonderful life! hope your armor is both pretty and strong.

stories

What I wanna be...

basic
honest
true
innocent
sincere
well thought of
smart enough to not be stupid
smart enough to still have people like me
i want little children to like me
i want animals to like me
i want to be good at something
i want to like myself
i want to be comfortable in my skin
i want to be comfortable with my mind
i want to be and feel guilt free
i want to have integrity intact
empathetic - sometimes
sympathetic
i want to be so honest that all the lies cannot penetrate.
i want a persona that proves evil wrong, simply by standing.
i want to be an educator, mentor, helper, protector
A shepherd
I want to have a quick wit and matching voice
I want to be brave enough to stand up for myself and others who share my truth
Clean
Clean in body, mind, soul, spirit
Forgiving
Merciful
Kind
Basic

Start with a cup of coffee

Bitter, dark and hot

Sweetened a bit with sugar

Lightened a bit with milk

Carefully sipped out of favorite cups

Hot as my mouth can stand it

Warming my throat and belly

Leaving immediate unequaled contentment

Sustaining and Strengthening

Old Photographs

Black and White and Gray

Framed in White

Some with Dates

Some with Names

A familiar Face

A familiar Place

Ancients proving Genetic

A Smile

A Pose

A Passion

Our own Behavior discovered in Younger Versions of Ancestors

Endearing

Validating

Time Standing Still on a Small Glossy Sheet

Proof of Time Stampeding

Ever Onward

Ever Forward

Small Reminders of Who we are

Where we come From

Scaling back to survive

No more cable television.


Netflix!! :)


He has his cell phone and I have mine.


Basic and plain - no texting or fancy stuff


No house phone.


The fax machine is going away too.


Eating less (lots less)


Coloring my own hair (Cut it short too - so less color is needed!)


Not eating out as often - maybe once a week...and only nutritionally correct foods.


Fixing the upstairs into an apartment to rent out.


Planning a new room addition to rent out.


Not buying new clothes as often.


Sewing! Using up old fabric that has been sitting in boxes or on shelves for years.


Making gifts - crochet, sewing, craft or cooking.


Being more creative!


Grew our own tomatoes this summer. Don't know if it actually 'saved' money though - with the drought and all. :(


Walking or riding the bike for the shorter neighborhood trips.

Use the more gas efficient vehicle if you have more than one. Consider taking the other off the insurance and just parking it for awhile. OR - sell it!


Coupons!!


Shop the ads before going to the market.


Shop with a list!


Have a weekly meal plan


Remember to use your lists and plans! :)


Turn off the lights when not in use.


Unplug the appliances that have a little red night light. If they have a light on at night - they are wasting electricity.


Don't keep the cell phone on the charger too long. Once it is charged - it is charged. If you leave it plugged in after that - wasting electricity!


Water only the trees and bushes in this drought. Grass has to wait for rain :(


Cut WAY back on Soda Pop!


If we want to go to the movies - I buy the $6.50 tickets through Human Resources at work. Otherwise - it is $11 at the theater!! But- be careful - it is still $25 for a tub of popcorn and 3 sodas! So - eat first! (Costco sells cheaper movie tickets too)


Buy gas at Costco and use the Costco American Express Card - it is cheaper and you get a rebate!


Buy certain staples at Costco...but be very careful that you do not overbuy things that might get wasted.


Use the library instead of buying new books or magazines



Sell your old stuff! Yard Sale, Craig's list, etc.


Save a portion of each paycheck in some type of savings account. Research first! Get the best interest rate you can find. I get 5% interest in a fixed 3year savings account through my 401K at work.



When you need to buy something - check Craig's list. You might be able to get a used item of good quality for lots less money.
(At work - I bought a used freezer for $75 that is more reliable than my new one! When the commercial freezer broke - we had to save the food quick - and there was my little $75 gem on Craig's list. It cost $1,000 to fix the commercial freezer - AND the commercial freezer uses more electricity!)



Keep your tires inflated properly. If they get too low on air - you get worse gas milage AND your tires wear out more quickly.



If you have a habit you want to break - it is probably a good time to break it. You will save alot if you don't buy cigarettes, beer, junk food, etc.
I wanted to quit cussing - so I started a cuss bank. Everytime I cuss I have to put a dollar in the jar. It helps me to stay on task of not cussing - and I get a little mad money in the end. :)
I have also lost 80pounds this year by just not eating so much! Saved alot of money there! And gained better health. :)



It is time for Americans to get back to basics - in so many things. Getting a better handle on your finances will make you feel more secure. You will be happier when you use your creativity to help your self survive these hard times.

A friend of mine told me that we should always know how much money is in our wallets. The money should be kept neatly in our purses - we should respect it. I think there is wisdom in her statement.


A penny saved is a penny earned.



Good luck and enjoy your new and creative ways to live.