Searching for ... what ,exactly?

I am having an MRI of my pancreas done this morning.  I am nervous.

I went to the Doc a few weeks ago because my poop was white.  It was after I attended a BBQ (most excellent flavors) that included very high fat meats.  I figured (and the Internet confirmed) that I should tell the Doc about it.  White is not a normal color for poop.  Blood tests, urine tests, ultra sound tests - all reveal that there is nothing wrong with me.  No stones, no blockages.  So, today is the MRI.  To look for cancer basically.  I think that this is all that is left to look at.

I do not like the idea of being in a certain position for an hour...and not moving.  I do not like the idea that - if there is any metal in your body, you could get hurt by the magnetic pull of it.  I don't know if I have metal in my body.  Nobody put any there - but, who knows what may have happened?  Something in my eye?  Maybe aliens put something inside me, I am always playing in the dirt and doing dirty things.  My Doc said I should take 2 tranquilizers.  That is good.  I don't want to feel freaked out.  Like I already do - and my anxiety grows as the minutes pass.

Well, I leave in 3 minutes.  Going to take my pills.  Wish me luck.

As much as I do not like the idea of this test - it is an excellent thing, isn't it?  To be able to see the insides so clearly.  Amazing really.

Of Dorks and Ponies

Yesterday I did something I have tried not to do for the past two years.  And I did it on purpose.  I spooked horses.

A group of riders here in North County will be in a parade this summer and they are going through a series of classes in order to be confidant with their equine partners on the asphalt in front of hundreds of noisy unpredictable Parade Watchers.  There were about twenty riders participating.  They marched in 5 rows of 4 riders across, down an imaginary parade route that we adorned with balloons, baby strollers, bicycles, loud radios, umbrellas...along with a half dozen or so people doing various over-exaggerated movements and noises.  There was even a braying donkey on the route.  Most of the horses were solid and kept under control.  There were three that I could see, who were having problems.  Most riders were able to stay focused and calm, being the confidant leader their horses needed.

I surprised myself and my friends with the loud annoying "act" I put on.  I am a basically quiet person most of the time.  But, those of you who know me, know that I can have a very loud voice, and I am basically a dork.  I wore my big white hat, that I pulled off and waved at the horses, I opened and closed umbrellas, swung a pool noodle around, shook out my blanket, swung a lead rope (that one got nixed), played Johnny Cash way too loud.  We all clapped and whistled and yelled and screeched as the parade passed us by.

"Woo.....Hoooo!   Lookit all the purdy horses!  Wowee Zowee.  I wanna purdy horsie...please mom!?!  Yay!!!  Yeeeeeee... ...Haawwww!" 

It felt so good to be silly and loud like that.  I think I may have embarrassed my more outgoing friends.   (Insert pat on back here)   I know that one of the riders was a bit angry with me because I was so annoying.  She was the one rider who had trouble with every pass.  I was just trying to do my "job" and help desensitize the horses to the unexpected.  And, I enjoyed it.  I enjoyed being a loud dork.

Last week  the Fire Department worked with the riders.  All the bells, alarms, loud engine sounds, sirens and people in bright yellow gear with funny hats running around.  They tell me it was a pretty freaky time for the horses and their riders.

Next week, if they invite me back, I plan to bring dogs and kids.  And maybe my llama.