Posting stuf on the internet...(Internet)

The whole world can see my typos, my spelling errors, and my life stories. Wow! Kinda scary - and kinda cool and kinda dangerous. I love naivete. Is that how you spell it? I love simplicity and innocence. Unfortunately life keeps showing me that those two qualities are more often hazards or liabilities.

I do like keeping a record of the things I write. A diary ... sort of. But I think from now on I will go private. Totally private. Well, as "Totally" private as Big Brother will let me.

Then again - what is the point? "They" already have all my information. They know what I look like, what I am going through, what I buy, what I dream about, probably. I mean, when I write email - the Google ads next to the text are all about the text of my letters...I think they might keep that info for use somewhere in the future. (insert sarcastic wink here). Sounds like Sci-Fi Fodder...or, maybe it was in 1974. I think we've seen movies about the abuse of this techno power stuff, eh?

Why do I like to write? I'm not good at it. I am not a person who can or will craft an elegant sentence. I appreciate it when I read it, but I have a hard time communicating. I find I am usually too lazy to say complete sentences. Thoughts usually stay in my head...and not even in the conscience area - where words are almost audible...but I rely more on the inner voice - that is not quite a voice. She is smarter than I am and she takes care of me. Sometimes. Writing is a way for me to express myself I guess. Wow - that's profound ( grimace here). I find I have to force my self to come up with the words. Like I used to say to my children when they were crying - "Say the words, use your words if you want me to understand you". But I do not feel like a child. Most of the time I just feel too tired to speak. Too apathetically depressed to think you would want to hear what I say...or too lazy to even form an opinion about situations. Nothing really matters anyway. And what I think of a subject makes no difference to anyone.

Wow I'd really betternot post this. The men in the white coast will lock me away and stuff medicine down my throat.