Life is like a box of chocolates, ya never know wut yer gonna get

Life is like a box of chocolates, ya never know wut yer gonna get

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Garden plans

It is raining again today.  I love it.  I hope we get enough to cancel the drought!  My seedling onions are doing well, as are the transplanted pepper trees.  The daffodil and Iris bulbs are large enough to flower soon.    The rose bushes have new buds and the geraniums I transplanted a few weeks ago are sprouting new growth too.  The weeds, unfortunately, also like the rain.  So, when all dries out a bit I will be outside on the ground pulling weeds again. 

I enjoy working in the yard.  Sitting in the dirt, sharing space with ants, bees, snails and those little bugs that roll into a ball when you touch them.  It is one of the things I find very Zen-like.  I know I sound like an old hippie, but I can feel energy come up from the ground and enter my body.  I can feel my basic essence  without all the programmed stories in my head.  It is lovely.

Emma likes to "help" me pull weeds.  She eats the grass near me, smiles, walks into my lap, knocks me over with slobbery kisses, gets me all covered with that special Emma stink.  Then Abbey pushes in to get her hugs - and I am on the bottom of a wiggly stinky dog pile.  I love it.  Sometimes even the cat joins in.

Many of the grasses and weeds have been kept in check by Magnet.  He loves the oat grass especially.  He does not eat tumbleweeds or the low weed that looks kind fern-like.  But he make a big difference in the height of the general greeness of the yard.  I have to be sure to keep him away from the house, where the flowers are.  He loves roses!  Sometimes, as a treat, I will let him "prune" a rose bush for me.  Usually I do this after I've had to trim his nails, or some other chore he does not like.

I've been reading my Garden book - planning my new vegetable and herb garden.  I put the onions in the front yard where the tomatoes were last year.  Crops have to be rotated in a special way because of nutrient demands on the soil.  There are so many things I'd like to grow, but I have to limit it a bit.  Often ideas cannot be matched by body strength or willpower...so I hope I take that into account enough.  The new garden will be on the south east area of the yard...in a place that receives the run-off from our neighbor's watering.  We have been changing the slope of the yard and the structural make up of the soil in the garden area to improve drainage and aesthetics.  A super fence will have to be designed to keep out rabbits and dogs, coyotes, etc.  I don't know how to keep the gophers away.  Traps, I guess - no poison near a garden.  Unfortunatly the book is not real helpful in that department.  Maybe I should plant daffodil bulbs all around the perimeter.  They hate daffodils.

It looks like the rain has let up a bit.  Think I'll go outside and enjoy the air.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Lizard Lady

I seem to be a chameleon - not the first entry in Webster's (any of a group of Old World Lizards with granular skin, prehensile tail, independently moving eyeballs and the unusual ability to change the color of the skin), but the second entry (a fickle or changeable person or thing).  Upon consideration, parts of the first entry do suit me at present, however, that is not what I want to talk about right now.

I am a copycat.  Not outright so  much - but, well - I am an emotion thief...I eat up the emotions I see in other people, read in books - and then - those emotions become me, or I become them...that energy becomes my energy.  I am overly sensitive and spongelike.  Am I stealing those emotions, or are they thrust upon me?

What do you call it?

empathy:
  1. the imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with it. 
  2. the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thought and experiences of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts and experience fully communicated in the objectively explicit manner.

sympathy:
  1. having common feelings,emotions, experience
  2. an affinity, an association or relationship between persons or things wherin whatever affects one similarly affects the other
  3. mutual or parallel susceptability or a condition brought about by it
  4. unity or harmony in action or effect, emotional or intellectual accord, feeling of loyalty, tendency to favor or support
  5. the act or capacity of entering into or sharing the feelings or interests of another
  6. the correlation existing between two bodies capable of communicating their vibrational energy to one another through some medium
All of these fit me at one time or another.  (Yup, even number 6). 

See - this is why I cannot work in business.  Because most people do not act this way.  Most people act like practical adults and just do their jobs without taking "feelings" too seriously, because, well - It's business.

Anyway - the reason I am writing about this is because it is bothering me quite a bit right now. 

I recently read four books in a row that dealt with some serious psychological trauma of women.  I became terribly depressed, so much so that Boyd was worried.  I began reading a book about an elephant last night - and this morning I was not so sad.  I am encouraged by the bravery and clean spirits of nature and her beasts. 

I am an easy mark for salesmen too.

In a large way I love my sensitive nature, but it can become scary to me at times...and painful.  I do want to understand people and things, but do I have to take on their energy as well?  How do you stop that ... that ... naivete?

Saturday, February 13, 2010

One of my Favorite Things

One favorite thing in my life has been the time I spent in the theater.  For about three years I took acting classes, participated in summer conservatory and played in many productions at the local community college where I earned an associate's degree in Theater Arts. 

It began as a way of supporting my daughter's involvement in something that would help her overcome her shyness; and in the process - I helped myself also.  It was a good time of sharing with Laura; a good time of getting to know her and getting to understand some of the younger adults in the artistic fields.  For the most part - Actors are a different sort of people. 

INSERTED NEW COPY - This was a time in my life when I was too shy to begin new things by myself and I used my daughter's life as a springboard for my own experiences.  I was offered some roles because of my age, rather than abilities, I enjoyed it immensly and the strokes to the ego were unequaled to anything I'd ever experienced.  That is a powerful emotion...especially to a person who did not often receive any strokes in life, but who always felt she deserved them, even if she didn't.  At first I think Laura enjoyed my being there, but I know that after awhile she wanted the expereince for herself.  She wanted me to appreciate her from afar; she did not want to feel any sort of competition with me.  I selfishly ignored her and continued to play for quite some time, knowing she was hurt.  Her kind nature only flared against me a couple of times (or I chose to see it a couple of times, I'm not sure which it was).  I truly did not see us as competitors, becasue the parts we qualified for were so different.  But she wanted the Mommy in me; not a peer.  And I failed her here.  It is a part of me that I am embarassed to admit.  I love Laura dearly, but I hurt her and I am sorry for it.

I enjoyed the sharing of emotions, the realities of "being in the moment", the earthy rawness of gut reactions, the honesty of them.  The people that I met in the theater were always very kind to me.   I was the 40 something year old in the group of 18-75 year olds.  I tried not to embarass Laura, and bowed out after about a year or so of us working together.  Watching her grow and get stronger and more confident was wonderful.  She grew to be so brave.  She did theater in some of the other local venues as well as the college.  I know that her experience in theater has helped her writing.  (She is currently persuing an MFA  in Creative Writing).  One of the wonderful things about Laura is that she has and can relate to the emotions, but, and maybe more importantly, she has a practical side that has helped her to choose her path, rather than wander aimlessly in search of 'feelings".

I learned Stagecraft - we put up and tore down sets...so there was carpentry and painting and set dressing and props involved.  I learned Makeup.  That was fun; creating age and youth and helping personalities show through to an audience.  We also made masks.  That was awesome.  Lighting was a little scary; working up in the highest parts of the theater; on cat walks, changing lights and filters and moving around with the ghosts.  (I think all theaters are supposed to have ghosts). 

Some of the productions I was in   ...  Let's see...there was
Much Ado About Nothing
Damn Yankees
Hedda Gabbler
The Shadowbox
You Can't Take It With You

I had the lead role in You Can't Take It With You.  It was the best time!  Every performance received standing ovations and I was thrilled.  It was very hard work and a very life consuming time, and I loved every minute of it.

Sometimes I think I would like to go back to acting.  But my memory has gotten so bad.  Funny, in acting class they tell you that the  memory part is not the hard part...but it is for me.  I can fall into many characters happily...and stay in character...but the memorization was tough.

I see that the college has built a new theater.  They still have the old one, but the new one is bigger and it looks like it is reserved for the music department; but I bet they do all the musical plays in there.

Good times
Good times, Sort of

Friday, February 12, 2010

anger and fear and words

The last two posts at Bedlam Farm have been very  meaningful to me.  Jon (that blog's author) is dealing with anger - and he speaks of anger becoming fear.  When we feel anger, we need to express it, not hold it in.  One of the best things Boyd and I have grown to be able to do is argue and be angry with each other - and a little while later show love again to each other.  It has taken us 30 years to be able to do that.  I'm a bit of an emotional cripple.  Thank God for Boyd.  Our strange mismatched collection of baggage suits us.  It hasn't always.

I have stuffed so many words of anger down inside my guts over the years; all my life.  The words are all still down there, but they have been thoroughly mashed into an unrecognizable wad of bilious goo.  I have been working hard to get them out, wash them off and deal with them.  Sounds like an easy task, but ...no, it is not easy.  In my dreams random words just spill out of my mouth to total strangers, but in reality I battle the fear of rejection for my feelings, for my words, about ... whatever topic it happens to be at the time.   Again - thank God for Boyd...and for my shrink Patty, those listeners who gently guide me through the world and keep me from falling off the cliff.

Some of the books I've been reading have dealt with this same phenomenon.  The books "Speak" and "The Bell Jar" showed me some of the traumatized blank nothingnesses of mental illness. The lack of words in both works left me feeling shaken and unnerved.  And, in both instances, had the women spoken their words, their anger, their complaints - at the point of trauma - their situations could have been entirely different.  Their illnesses may have never materialized.

In my youth I considered my ability to hold my tongue a great strength.  I thought it was better to be kind and to be careful to not hurt anyone; even if it meant I hurt myself because of it.  I thought I was a strong person and could handle it.  And I was strong - for about 30 years.  And then life became a bit too hard for me.  Perhaps if I had not over-burdened myself with the weight of all those unspoken words of anger, (fermenting  in my core) I could have stayed healthy and strong.  Perhaps I would have not been so afraid of emotions and could have experienced them more fully and clearly.  And if I was lucky, that could have been a good thing.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

A very pretty day today

Sunshine, blue skies with a few puffy white clouds and a temperature hovering around 68ish in the sunshine and 63ish in the shade.  The rain has turned all the grass and weeds to a gorgeous green. 

I love my yard when it is green.  I moved Magnet to the grassier areas today so he could graze in the fresh greens.  He loves the oat grass when its new.  He was easy to catch today; I think he wanted to get out of his pen.  His "pen" takes up about 1/6th of our 4 acre yard, so it's not like he is stuffed in a little pen...but I think he likes to go out front and watch the horses across the street.  He is a curious thing and everyone in the neighborhood is part of his "herd".  He was actually very sociable today (for a llama).  He gave me a llama hello (sniffing faces) without being prompted and gave one to Abbey too!  (our golden retreiver).  Surprised the heck outta me.  He is usually such a stoic snobby thing.

It would be nice if he could keep up with the growth, but I know we will have to begin mowing in the next month.  It gets out of hand pretty quickly...and tumbleweeds are the worst.  Magnet does not eat them - and even the wild rabbits only turn to eating them in the direst of circumstances...which they did this past summer when everything was dead because of the drought. 

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Cockatoos

Oh - My - Gosh

I am so glad Boyd researched cockatoos.  They can live for one hundred years and they are like over emotional two year old children that get ornrier the older they get.  They are cute and cuddly "Lap" birds when they are young, but most of them change as they age.  They require alot of time.  They require alot of care and money and they make a big mess.

And after handling the bird today I broke out in a weird rash on my neck.

So - Bunny will have to find a different home.

Too bad
So Sad

I was hoping for something better.

P.S. - It is still raining

Rain, trees, vegetables, pie and a cockatoo named Bunny

The rain began here at about 4pm.  It is a beautiful sky...black and gray clouds overlapping each other.  The sky out over the ocean is dramatic.  Beautiful.

We have been transplanting trees around the property this past week.  Ideally we'd like to be lined with Peppers and Pines; with a few bushes thrown in.  Privacy would be nice.  Right now the neighbors behind us chat on their cell phones looking out over our yard, like it is their own personal park - while we rake or mow or something.  It feels like we are their landscaping company...I don't like it.  They don't mean any harm, but I do like privacy.  Anyway - with this rain, the saplings should take off and thrive. 

I will have a larger garden this season.  I have been reading my garden books trying to decide what to plant and when to do it.  We need to fence for rabbits and gophers (and dogs)...and we need to start some seeds indoors.  I think I will try to do a pumpkin patch out front this year.  Pumpkins, corn, sunflowers make such a nice fall dispaly.  Maybe I could sell them!  That might be fun.

Melons, tomatoes, strawberries, onions, carrots, cucumbers, radish, cabbage, corn, cauliflower, brocolli, chard, beans, peas...I've got a huge list of desires - but I will try to keep it to a 50 x 50 foot plot ... so i still have some figuring to do.

And a mulch pile needs to be started...
And we will be getting chickens again this season!  A better coop is being constructed near the veggies so I can use the poop to fertilize.  The guy across the street said I can have all the horse manure I need - and use his loader to move it around!  Cool.  Maybe we can trade veggies for that stuff...and maybe a horse ride?  :)

I made my strawberry orange pie again today, only with a few changes.  I added a dark chocolate.  It is cooked and chilling now.  Should be yummy.  I hope my recipe can win me some money in a magazine or something!

So, today we got a call from a neighbor who knew a person who died of cancer recently.  He had a 2 year old cockatoo named Bunny and she needs a new home.  She is being held at the Animal Keeper ( an animal daycare and boarding facility nearby)  We visited her today and she is lovely.  An affectionate and charming white bird.  We will find out more about her tomorrow when we meet the owners kids. (who do not want her).  We used to have a Love Bird named Zoe and Zoe loved Boyd - and Boyd really enjoyed Zoe.  I've been thinking about another bird for a few months now.  Bunny could last 40 years or more, so she will outlive Boyd and I.  I hope my kids would want to inherit a big white bird.  :)

I began looking at a Child Psychology book that I've had around forever...looking at things that the characters in my story might relate to.  I learned some things that would be good additions/changes;  things that might help to make a better theme and plot line for the story.  Still working on that whole "Caroline and Me" - idea...starting over.  My initial story got lost in all the translations, all the re-writes.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Research Day

You'd think by the time you reach your 50s you'd have more answers...but I seem to have more questions.

I am wondering more and more about the insides of my body.  Apparently my gut decided that today is the day to do a total fluid exchange.  Why?  After I ate a dinner last night of those wonderful pork and beans that I made the other day, I swelled up like a tick and became - what the old people call - deathly ill.  I felt like I had a 30 pound ball of cement in my stomach.  i could not find a comfortable position; was extrememly nauseated and sought an early bed time, only to waken at 3am with the call of the toilet...it has continued calling all day.  An excedrin migraine strength took care of the headache. I figure that I must be lacking a digestive enzyme??  Boyd ate the same beans and did not get sick.

So, I watched a few episodes of Know the Cause (online).  I have been trying to grow good bacteria this past week and perhaps it is really a battle of the bugs...good bacteria vs. fungii, parasites, mycotoxins, etc.  Whatever...I want to create a pH in my body that does not support the growth of fungii and parasites.  That means I give up bread again.  And sweets.  And white wine.  I have not read all the info yet, but I know that is at least part of the start of it.  And I think after this gut bout I will begin clean raw foods for awhile...do the phase one.


Second research item, which is way more fun, was a question that I asked Google:  What makes good literary fiction?  I got so many options to choose from...I chose two and was reading for quite some time.  I now have a simple outline on how to build a basic story;  all the different components required, why they  are important, how they rely on each other; how to layer the components effectively, etc.

I was beginning to think I was just plain out of luck;  that the one thing I feel I am supposed to do was out of my reach.  I can sit with pencil and paper or computer at hand knowing deep inside i am meant to write, but i get tied up in knots and then don't write anything good, because I try too hard with the wrong or incomplete information I need to make it all work.  I am not well read enough to automatically write well.  One thing I have learned this week is that writing is definitely a craft.  It is not something everyone can do.  I want to be one of the ones that can do it.  I have always thought I was - and that one day I would easily sail into that world flying the flag of the victorious.  That might not happen.  But I have to write anyway.  I have to be able to get the words that I have out of my head and onto paper.  I have to be able to finally speak.  I have held in words for so long and I am tired of it.  I want to finally live for me and this is a part of it.

That all said - I have some more reading to do.  Think I'll do it in the bathroom.

Excuse me.

Don't worry if you hear thunder down San Diego way - it's just me...

Saturday, February 6, 2010

homemade pork and beans tonight

boyd loves "butter beans".  that is what his mom called them.  they are dried lima beans cooked in water, salt, butter, onion.  i used dried limas today, but i did not make "butter beans".

yesterday i put a frozen wad of pork in the slow cooker with some diet 7up, curry and cloves and let in cook for about 6 hours.  turns out they were pork chops.  i cut the bone and fat off, sliced up the meat and put in fridge overnight.

then i put a bag of dried lima beans in a pot of water for a couple of hours.  drained the water and added the  swollen beans to the pork pot overnight in the fridge.  this morning i put that pot back in the slow cooker.  I chopped 2 onions and added them to the pot and then I poured about a cup of bbq sauce, a cup of steak sauce and 1/2 cup of catalina dressing in the pot as well, along with about a cup of water.  stir and let cook for 8 hours.  wow.  it was really good!  i loosened the lid a bit at the end, so that some of the liquid could cook off and give me a more intense flavor.

i did not know what i was doing --- just making it up as i went.  in retrospect i would put less water and a bit more bbq sauce in it --- and i would have put bbq sauce in the pre cooked pork too.  i would cook the beans a bit longer, they could be just a bit softer.  tomorrow they will be perfection.

boyd loved it.

White Headed (from Webster's): Specially Favored, Fortunate

I just read a quote from Jim Morrison.  He said that some of his worst decisions were haircuts. 

Speaking of hair...not cuts, but hair in general...mine is a very light yellow at the moment.  I have moved out of the orange, past the gold and my hair is now the color of a baby duck.  No, lighter than that.  I have bleached it three times. I was going to apply the white dye today, but Boyd thinks I should hit it once more with the bleach.  I guess it is not really dye.  It is called Extra Mild Toner Liquid Creme Haircolor by Wella.  The color is called White Lady.  The girl at Sally's Beauty Supply told me it would make my hair white, but she had no idea how many layers of brown dye I had on my head.  She also told me that more and more "kids" are making their heads white and that it is quite fashionable nowadays.  This comment was given after I told her I was accepting my old age and I am tired of dying my hair brown.

I know that 53 is not OLD.  But, it is not young either, nor is it really middle age.  I do not think I will live to 106...and 53 is half, or mid way to 106, hence middle age.  No, I think 70 will be my length of years, unless GOD and a Mack truck see things differently.  That means I have 17 more years.  I began battling the white and gray hair in my teens.  Seems only fair to let it shine through for awhile.  I am very curious to see it.  A swirling mess of white wave sitting on my head.  Perhaps under a hat, I don't know...

The name Jennifer means "White Wave"...so, how appropriate is that?!

Friday, February 5, 2010

ARGHHHHH!!!!!

Deep breathe in.....and let it ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut...............

Okay, I'm over it.

I think.

Last year I lost 80 pounds.  From February 28th to September 28th - 7 months: 80 pounds.

and then I lost my job on October 16th.  Since then I have packed on at least 20 pounds.  I have not weighed myself this week ... it may be more than 20 by now. 

My damaged ego crawled into my stomach and demanded to be overfed with sweets and starches...comfort foods that I'd not seen since the winter of '09.  My ego is now a bloated mass of excrement, oozing lament and leaving a golden fatty train in its wake; like a corpulent slug on the way to another carbohydarate binge.  My mind occasionally awakens from this self induced comatose state and I begin to realize the physical damage that I have inflicted upon myself in the name of pity.  As a consolation for my poor pitiful self tonight I purchased a big bag of M & Ms and ate half of it. 

My essence is silently screaming "LEAVE ME ALONE!!  STOP HURTING ME!!" 

Don't get me wrong, I am still angry over the bullshit "business" practices of my ex-employers, however now I am equally angry at myself for inflicting more damage onto myself. Why is it that when I hurt I want to try to heal myself by hurting myself? If I had a broken leg would I try to fix it with a sledgehammer and a chainsaw?



My poor sister made the mistake of asking how I was doing a few days ago, when I was semi-conscience...and I told her.  Poor thing, she probably wanted to call the men in the white coats, but she very lovingly showed her concern for me by directing me to a television show and a web site called "Know the Cause". 

It is an interesting premise.  Fungus is killing us.  I've only watched a couple of the shows, but apparently an over abundance of bad fungii and a severe lack of good bacteria cause everything from acne to cancer. 

Seems a little over the top you might say.  I know I did. 

But then I did some thinking.  I have been on hundreds of antibiotic series in my 53 years on this planet.  As a teen I suffered with ear, nose and throat infections big time, not to mention the surgeries I've had that required penecillins.  And, amoxicillin is not strong enough for me; hasn't been since the 70's.  I have to take the heavy hitters to get rid of infection.  The really big guns that always give me athlete's foot and yeast infections, itchy skin, breathing difficulties, etc.  I would drink some acidophpolus milk and think that was that, but according to Doug Kaufmann of "Know the Cause", those years of antibiotic abuse have done years worth of damage...and require much more than acidopholus milk to do the necessary repairs.  Fungus eats sugar.  I crave sweets and breads.  Some people crave salts - I go for the carbs.  Always have.

So, I purchased some probiotics the other day.  Also some Caprycin, Coenzyme Q10, Food Enzymes, 1,000mg Vitamin C w/bioflavenoids, 1,000mg of garlic.  I also take a product called Juice Plus.  It is a whole food product high in nutrients.  My stomach has been rumbling and expelling on and off for three days.  I am guessing that is a good thing...getting rid of bad bacterias.  I hope, I hope, I hope...

I just read the next step.  It is called The Phase One Diet.  Like all "Diets" it says - This is a LIFESTYLE, not a diet.  I don't know about you, but I HATE that!  I am a food ADDICT.  I cannot just have a little bit and be okay.  I cannot be easy on myself and be okay.  If I were addicted to heroine would I shoot up and say that its okay once in a while?  No.  And I have to be harsh with myself when it comes to dieting.  So, sorry to all the psychologist types who see me dooming myself to failure because of hard boundaries.  I've tried it both ways - and the only way i lose weight is by being a Hard Ass on myself.  wish it were easier, but its not.

Okay - so...
Phase One Diet:
Grass Fed Beef, Chicken, Fish (those can get expensive, but Frazier Farms has them)
Eggs
Nuts (Except pistachios and peanuts)
Vegetables (Except corn, potaotes and mushrooms)
Carrot juices with other veggies, water, herbal teas.  (does this mean no soda pop?)
Green apples, berries, lemon, lime, avocado (why only green apples?)
Plain yogurt (yuck)
Real butter


Insert big sigh here

I can work with this.  Boyd will need some starches though.  that's okay.  We can do this.

I have practically perfected my Buttermilk Bread Recipe.  It is a great hearty bread.  I can get back to making it for Boyd and not eating it myself.  I can.  I think. 

Mind Set has to be right to begin this.




AAARRRRRHRHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

the rambler

the 62 rambler classic wagon was mostly gray, but orange and red primer and rust showed through in a few places. i learned to drive a stick in that car...with my dad ...on hills. three in the tree. kinda scary, but i did it. i made it through all the cussing and fear and i did not hit anybody. course, i went through a few clutches i think. i rode them kinda hard in order to have a smoother ride.

i think we got that car when we lived in sacramento...just before the move to concord in the san fransisco area. i was in the 6th grade in concord. i remember getting up really early and driving daddy to work in the city. mom would drive and we sisters would sleep in the back in a pallet of blankets and pillows.

the city was awesome. by the time we got there it was daylight and i remember looking at all the sky scrapers and the bridges and stuff. really big time important feelings. my dad worked in this magnificent city. and then we would drive home and go to school.

momma worked for a dentist. she was a dental assistant and so we had a babysitter. mrs. lindsay was a large white haired lady who took care of us girls when mom and dad were away. she was no nonsense and my sisters hated her. i don't remember why. i seemed to be able to ignore so many things that bother other people.

back to the rambler. the seats in the rambler would lie back and ultimately you could have a flat inside of the car. that was pretty neat. the seat cushions were red and white with lots of little pinched pleats ...not so comfortable - and made funny lines on your legs in the summer time.

daddy used to work under the hood of that car quite a bit. lots of garage language came out from under that hood.

eventually momma got a new car. i think the experience of the rambler stalling in the center lane in downtown los angeles traffic pushed them both over the edge and they bought a toyota celica. a pretty little green car for my mom. daddy got a little brown corolla. i was in, ummmm...high school, maybe 11th grade i think.

so i got to drive the rambler. yeah! i drove it to work. i worked at grants department store in santa fe springs. i was in the credit department. i approved or disapproved lines of credit for people. i also drove it to rio hondo where i was beginning to look at other career options, among other things.

the rambler had a few quirks. my favorite was that you had to be sure to park on a bit of a hill...just in case she wouldn't start. i popped her clutch many times. and sometimes i would have to open the hood and smack the starter with a broom handle before she would start. i had to get the crud loose from the starter brushes. oh! and you had to keep track of the miles to know how much gasoline you had...or you could put the broom handle in the hole and look at the gas line. and when you were driving in cold weather - you had to wipe the windshield alot with a rag. she had quite a personality. a good old girl.

after i graduated and moved away my folks gave her to gigi. gigi wrecked her and sold her for $90. i was very sad.

i think everyone thought of her as a nuisance, a problem. I loved her quirkiness, her spunk, her integrity, and lack of. i loved her age. she was a good old car. rest in peace.

Monday, February 1, 2010

some days are just like that

another sunny beautiful day in san diego, u.s.a. about 75 degrees in the sunshine and maybe 68 in the shade. it was a work in the yard day. i pulled out weeds and threw them on the ground. my husband babysat me and put my litter in trash barrels and took them out to the street. i love him, he's so good to me. with my old overalls and my newly orangy golden hair i looked like a big shirley temple today. the bleach really dried the hair, so it is REAL curly right now.

roasted a whole chicken tonight. cut up some fennel, brown onion and stuffed it inside the bird. Sprinkled garlic salt and pepper on the skin after i oiled him up with olive oil. he went into the oven at 375 for 2 hours. i put the rest of the fennel and onion in another pan with about 10 garlic cloves, drizzled some olive oil and balsamic vinegar on top, sprinkled a bit of coarse ground pepper, covered with foil and baked for an hour. I also quartered a nice yam and put it in the roaster with the chicken for the last hour of cook time.

it was a yummy dinner. it was the first time i ever used fennel, the first time i ever cooked whole cloves of garlic. it was very tasty, but i wonder if it is supposed to be so slimy...the oil and vinegar was pretty wet. the chicken had a beautiful flavor and was cooked to perfection. boyd said part of his yam was undercooked, but mine were right on...and the chicken grease it sat in made it kinda crispy on the bottom. yum.

i decided to make tomorrow's dinner today also. i had a pot roast that really should have been frozen, but it wasn't and i didn't want to chance too much bacteria growth, so i put it in the slow cooker all day with onion and celery, garlic salt and pepper, 4 cups of water and 4 beef bouillion cubes. after about 5 hours cooking i added 2 cups of brown rice. it is done, smells great and will go into the fridge till about 3pm tomorrow when i will begin warming it for dinner. it will be served with mashed potatoes and a salad.

so much for food today. i find i want chocolate tho. too bad. so sad.