weekend woes, etc.

it is difficult to write in this brace thing on my right hand/forearm.  i strained it.  yup.  getting old sucks.
i figured my muscles would adapt...like in the old days.  the muscle pain would eventually subside and the result would be more strength.  when my arms went numb i figured there must be a problem...so i took some time off.  after some ibuprofen and rest - the pain localized and i realized my wrist was strained.  i can barely move the dumb thing to 90 degrees.  it used to feel good to do that.  now it causes me to make monster face.


allergies are worse than ever this year.  of course, i have been outside more than ever this year.  doing manual labor in the sunshine - working in dirt, grass, weeds, plants, animals...all known allergies of jennifer.  i have been taking benadryl pretty regularly, but lately it has not been working.  in fact the allergic responses changed to a more difficult symptom.  breathing became much more labored in both my nose and my chest. 

dammit!

i wanna grow a garden.  i wanna work outside.

stupid body.

my time off has helped.  i feel much better - but not totally okay.

i have two telephone interviews this week.  i have mixed feelings about them.  i feel angry when i think about it.  like i assume everbody who wants to hire in f&b has that certain mind set that will hurt me.  f&b is alot of work for not much money.  i am good at managing crews and overseeing that everything runs efficiently.  but i hate having people try to hurt me in the name of business/politic...whatever.  i take everything personally.  and just because someone tells me it is not personal - that's shit.  a cop out.  it is personal.

i think that my crews are special because i do take it personally.  people need respect in order to give good work and good attitude.

argh

I did not know this...

http://www.buzzfeed.com/scott/how-to-correctly-pronounce-authors-names


Do you pronounce these names correctly?  I got most of them wrong.  Good thing I never met them and embarassed myself.

:)

Emma

Emma is a wonderful dog.  She is a very intuitive animal and I love her.  She responds to certain attitudes, key words, voice inflections and physical situations.  It is fun to watch her. 

Since I've been working outside - she has been with me alot.  When I sit on the ground she comes over and covers me with dog loves.  Messy - but happy and fun.  When I am working she does not get in my way, but she stays nearby and keeps her eye on me - quickly responding if I let out a shriek.  Those shrieks happen if I find a gopher or a snake...sometimes a lizard or mouse will run past or over my feet.  She has eaten a few gophers lately.  Maybe that is why she hangs out with me...I scare the gophers up.  Hmmm...

She helps me work when I am pulling weeds.  All the animals do - it is funny and it makes me happy.  They all begin to eat grass...they figure Mom is grazing, guess I will too.  They all like to eat the oat grass.  It is Magnet's favorite too.  (Which lead me to research oat grass --- it is very healthy --- and I would like to grow my own oatmeal eventually, but that's another story)

Emma knows her boundaries well.  She is not always obedient though.  You can tell which rule she will eventually break.   When you introduce something new to her she gets a certain sparkle in her eye  - and you can be confidant that she will eventually break that rule or boundary.  She is certain that the world is really hers and she is humoring you for the time being.

As she ages she is not quite so bossy with the other animals here.  She turned 14 years old on March 1st.  I think she is arthritic in her back and legs and feet.  She also has some tumors on her chest.  I thought they were cancer...and they still might be, but she seems healthy and strong for the most part.  Her age has slowed down her ball chasing too.  She still loves it, but only once or twice - and not so far please. 

I like Emma.  I like her personality, her bull in a china shop charm.  My baby sister called her a tank.  She is built solid and low to the ground.  She's my tank.

Houston, I think we have a problem...

You ever feel like you have resolved an emotional issue and find that it is only your mind that thinks it has been resolved?  Your body is still in angst and will forcefully show you that you are actually upset. 

When will they be in sync?  Ever?

I dunno...

I had an appointment with Patti today.  I got ready, drove to her office, parked the car, went up in the elevator, began walking down the hall towards her office and it hit me.  IBS.  No warning at all and BAM! I was outta commision for at least the next hour.  I wrote Patti a note and was going to leave it in her office.  It sounded like she might be alone - so I knocked and left her the note in person, while I edged towards home. 

So embarrassing.

She is very sympathetic and kind.  I will call her to reschedule.

Why now?  I have not had an IBS bout in over 2 months.  Is it attack of the yeast again?  My diet has not been great lately.  Or is it the upset I have been feeling about going to a family function in the near future?  Maybe both.  I have felt angry for the last 24 hours or so...at myself and the unsettled crap that always rolls around in my mind when it comes to parties or social stuff.  I feel strong when I am in my own element, but if I have to be out of my safety zone I am very uncomfortable.

I really needed to keep the appointment today.

A Goat Named Baby

The bleating returned.  The kid was not bbq!  Baby is a young female goat that the neighbors are keeping for milk production.  They think she is pregnant now.  She is about the size of a pygmy goat...still a young un.  She is a pretty brown color with some black markings.

Baby is currently tied to the fence between our properties.  She is in the shade of the willow tree as her owners construct her pen nearby.  When Magnet saw her he sounded the alarm!  What the heck is that noise and that small animal next door?  He was extremely curious, so I haltered him up and we went to meet Baby.  The dogs decided to join us, as they had not been properly introduced.  We all exchanged nose/face hellos and the dogs got the foot stamp and the snort.  She was not fond of the dogs, no matter how polite they were being - they were wolves to her.  Emma and Abbey were polite, but you could tell by the gleam in Emma's eyes that, given the chance, she would chase Baby for fun.  Abbey's caution turned to friendly and then to indifference after she got the foot stamp.  I think that the foot stamp is universal for Stay Away!  Magnet and Baby had the best exchange.  She likes Mags and I tied him out there for her.  She calmed down with him nearby.  After he'd stared at her for a long time he began to graze and that, I think, was comforting to her.

I am happy that Magnet now has another herd animal friend nearby.

Did I mention that Baby is pregnant?

:)

Animal as Pet or Food?

We heard a young goat or sheep bleating yesterday.  He or she sounded alone and lonesome.  We surmised that it was coming from our neighbor's garage.  Shortly after Bill and George returned home with their relatives who are visiting from Greece, the bleating stopped.

When I first heard the young creature I was happy that more of our neighbors had decided to keep farm animals.  I was daydreaming about happy little lambs and kids playing in the meadow when I realized that the young animal had been put into a bbq pit for a family meal.

As much as I enjoy the thoughts of being "off the grid" - I don't think I could eat an animal that I had to kill.  Granted, I have never been in a situation where I felt starved.  Perhaps then I would do so - but if I have money in the bank I will purchase butchered meats.  The thing with me is that I personify almost everything.  Everything has a spirit.  Everything has feelings.  Even my plants and rocks.   I talk to them and care for them.  I don't have that native American sense of "circle of life" - or the habit of thanking my food before I kill and eat it.

I've seen some turkeys that I could kill though.  They were mean.

I am NOT a vegetarian.  I'm just a sissy.

My Common Cold

Last week it was - work, work, work, in the sunshine and lovin' the heat and sweat...and then the allergies came.  And then I got sick.  Ugh...a cold has had me in limbo this week.  I thought the sore throat was allergy, but it kinda morphed into a regular old cold.  I finally gave into it and sat around feelin' sorry for my dumb ass cuz I have not been taking my diet routine seriously for awhile.  Hence, a lowered resistance and a cold.

It never fails, ya know?  When I am sick I make plans to adhere to a clean food routine, with all the right carbs, proteins, etc.  But, when you are sick do you want to eat salad?  No.  You want comfort food.

Last night I started making brown rice.  I did not know what to eat, and I needed to use up the food in the house.  So I sauteed an onion, a green bell pepper and a red bell pepper and some garlic and added it to the simmering pot of rice.  Then I considered the ground sirloin that I had defrosted two days before and thought I'd better at least cook it up so it doesn't go bad.  So I cooked it in a crumbled form, added some garlic salt and pepper, drained the grease.  What the heck!  I added it to the rice pot too.  Then I scraped up the pan the meat cooked in and made a sort of herbalicious gravy and poured that flavor into the pot as well.  When the rice was finished cooking it was dinner in a pot.  Boyd has been keeping a food journal, so he needed to call it something for his list.  He called it Inside Out Stuffed Peppers.  It was good.  And it was comfy.

I'm getting better, but still cussing the stuffed sinus and impromptu clearing of sinus.  Not something to do in public yet - so I'll settle for the couch, the computer and television for awhile.

Ugh.