Father's Day

A time to remember fathers everywhere.  Good ones, bad ones, whatever - just send em a card, eh?  or call and say 'howdy do?'  or simply remember your Dad.  for what he was and what he is now.


i don't think i like to be told when to think of somebody though.  father's day and mother's day and valentine's day - really are about spending money, aren' they?  and that is disgusting.


i think of my parents everyday.  sometimes to appreciate. sometimes to remember, sometimes to blame (i said that just the way daddy does!), sometimes to be sentimental, sometimes to wonder.  i dont' send cards very well.  i am terrible at phone calls.  i do email and posts, but alot of people think that is too cold.  technology has made it so we can be closer to people, while really being at a safe distance.  we can control things better, we don't hafta listen - we can simply delete...but that's another story.


i truly appreciate fathers and fatherhood.  raising a child without a father is more than difficult, it is bad for the child.  there is so much a child learns from each parent - even how to argue is an important lesson.  for me - having a father is a good thing, having a grandfather was a good thing and having a father for my children (my hubby) is a good thing.  they have all influenced my children, they have influenced me.  sometimes good, sometimes not so much.  but even the not so much times can, and often do, result in good life lessons.


my father deeply loved his father...his love for my grandpa grew stronger as they got older.  from all the stories i've heard, their younger years were difficult because my father was much like my son, full of piss and vinegar.  the odds are pretty good that grandpa was that same way when he was a kid.  i know in grandpa's later years, that same chemical mixture was seen and heard at many of our visits.


being a father is a difficult job.  since kids did not come with instruction books, we all learned how to raise and react to children kinda on our own...with our own childhood as the base.  and kids are each so different!  can be confusing to say the least. 


dad's job=

1. earn money for the family (being out of the house for about ten hours per day)
2. come home after work and be expected to resolve conflicts, offer love, answer questions, play, etc. - even though you are tired.
3. be interested in your child's life - school, sports, friends, problems
4. be the discipliner; aligned with mom's decisions from the daytime when you were absent
5. help mom change diapers, feed babies, shop, house stuff, even though you are tired.
6. be a daddy for the rest of your life
7. be a grandpa - i would think that would be more fun than being a dad  :)
8. be a great grandpa 
9. attend weddings, graduations, life altering occasions
10. wonder and worry and take pride in your children for the rest of your life.
11. feel underappreciated and sometimes forgotten
12. probably more stuff i can't think of right now

I wish my father a lovely father's day - everyday, not just the third sunday in june.  thank you for being you...it has been an interesting journey getting to know and understand you.  you are like a bottle of very good wine.  as you age the different textures become more apparent - and more lovely.  bold yet subtle, more tannin than fruit, yet the fruit still holds it's own in an almost stubborn way, a very subtle cherry - like your old pipe smoke.