Last night I went with my husband to play cards with an elderly neighbor. He fell and broke his leg a little over a month ago and loves the card game Biribba. It is a Greek game (or Italian - depending on who you ask), much like rummy on steroids. He has been playing the game since his childhood. It was a way to pass the time when the Germans would not allow Greek children on the streets during WWII. George considers it a war game and he plays very well. My husband and George were at the top of their games - amassing many many points, while I trailed behind, enjoying the experience.
Towards the end of the night - I did not know what exactly I was beginning to feel, but I was in awe of George. Not that he played so well, but about his history - so many stories about Greece and war and family and survival in wartime - and the fact that a broken leg from a fall in the garden might now be the end of his life. He is in his mid-80's and the leg is infected and antibiotics are not working. His coloring is yellow and jaundiced. He was in a good mood during play, but I think he became tired towards the end of the game. It can take several hours to finish a game.
I'm nervous around people who are near death. When I visited my grandparents and my mother as they were just days from their ends, it is an overwhelming sense of helplessness I feel. I guess I always feel I want to help somehow. And when I can't - I get a manic desire to jump on the table and do a happy dance...to entertain and make people laugh.
I know two people who have had the opportunity to be present at a person's moment of death; felt their last heartbeat, smelled their last breath. My step mom said she felt it was a very special time - precious. My husband felt the same when his mom passed. Is there an energy transference? Is it felt? What happens? What is it like to die? Maryann said she held her dear ones in her arms and loved them as they faded away. Boyd's mom was in a coma, but he felt her pulse as he held her hand.
Not a very cheery post I suppose. But, I want to be able to give positive energy to people, and I don't in these situations. Instead I feel overwhelmed - and so I avoid the situations altogether. And that is just not nice.
Suggestions welcomed.
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I understand because I was very shelter growing up when someone was about to die. My Mom has spent a lot of time with those who are at the end. When her Mom died she said she could still feel her spirt in the room. I was miles away and woke up at the time of her death. Death is a funny subject. My husband's family when someone dies really doesn't talk about them anymore. My family it really is like they have just walked out of the room and will be back anytime. It doesn't matter that they have been gone for 30 years.
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