I can't remember if I discussed the sources of that trauma, and they don't actually matter. People experience pain and hurt and become damaged. We cannot change these things. They are in the past, they are what they are. But we don't have to live in the aftermath forever. God gave me a life and he says I deserve to live it.
I've always known that there is someone watching out for me; Someone who is smarter and wiser and loves me. The Holy Spirit does these things, but, what I am talking about now is not spiritual. It is my mind. I enslaved part of myself when I was twelve, because I truly believed that I could not exist with a portion of my personality left out to live in this world. Problem is - we need all of ourselves in order to operate optimally. Perhaps much of my lifetime of confusion and fear was because pre-adolescent me was trying to protect herself.
An amazing side effect of this uncovering - is that I don't feel like the pathways are clogged up with obstacles anymore. I feel like a new part of me has been released and is happily carrying on. In fact, she is dancing! Stretching her legs and making plans for the future.